I don't even know if that's a word. But this story has all the elements of a classic West Michigan story; 2nd-tier University, Lowell, and rednecks.
Raychel Swift was driving back to Lowell Friday afternoon when her pet boa constrictor, Mr. Cracker Basket Sassy Pants, sneaked out of a pillowcase and slithered its way into the car's dashboard.
Take that Florida. Mr. Cracker Basket Sassy Pants. Man, I need to find a dealer around here.