ABC News has just learned that Republicans have sex. In fact, they have so much of it, they're out-producing Democrats and creating a "Baby Gap". Like that? Baby Gap.. get it? It's like the store. Oh, and want a little trivia with your slow news day? Paul Pressler, President and CEO for Gap, Inc. since Sep 2002, joined the Gap, Inc. board after leaving.. anyone.. anyone? That's right, The Walt Disney Company, which owns.. anyone? If you said ABC News, you'd be smarter than the average American.
But, back to the real news.. baby gaps *snicker* in political groups. If you can get through the blatant stereotyping (Democrats have cats not kids, Republicans are Puritan abstainers) and rhetoric ("'They're for abortion policy, they're for same-sex marriage, they're for many of the agenda items that eventually mean you probably don't have children in the household,' [conservative pollster Kellyanne] Conway said").. hmm.. there's actually only one meaningful fact in the entire story.
Studying numbers from the General Social Survey — a government survey of social trends — [Syracuse University professor Arthur] Brooks found that 100 unrelated liberal adults have 147 children, while 100 unrelated conservatives have 208 kids.
This, apparently, constitutes news.
Oh, by the way ABC News, there's a couple countries threatening to toss nukes around, a major US city is still in ruin a year after a natural disaster, and the federal government is taking its first steps to a Gattaca-esque world.
Maybe you could send one of your "reporters" out to cover some of that.