- Status update includes the words "God, family, Dutch, coupon," or "homosexual".
- Misspelled interests which include "religioun, privalege" or obscene amounts of exclamation points.
- Profile picture is of the newest child, the latest death, church steeple, or deer head.
- Education includes a high school with the word "Christan" or county name in title.
- Current job contains the words "farm", "pastor", "shift", or "laid off".
- The person's last name contains vowel combinations pronounceable only by descendants f Central-Northern Europeans.
- Attended either of the following colleges: Hope, Calvin, Western, or Grand Valley.
Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are, and what they ought to be. - William Hazlitt
How to Identify a potential Facebook friend from West Michigan
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